You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
