she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
