I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
