It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
