I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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