he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
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