you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
