i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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