His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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