Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
