I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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