let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize