You were right. It hurts to walk today.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
