it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
