Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
