I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
there is puke in my bra ... again
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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