it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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