I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
A+ Viking dick
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
