the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
