just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
