His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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