Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
