why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
