These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
