i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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