My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
