Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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