Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
