People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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