What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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