I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
