Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
