Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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