I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize