it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
