why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
