I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
