it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize