Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
