I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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