my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
