Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
