I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
