I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
