my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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