I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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