It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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