I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
