its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
