Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
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