Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
