If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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