people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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