Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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