I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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