You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
