hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
did you just send me my own nude
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
