this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
